Finally! Someone is taking action against Truck Nuts. These things are at the very top of my pet peeve list. Anyone with these things on their truck should be beaten mercilessly with…a set of truck nuts. Other items that are almost (but not quite) as annoying include:
- “Piss on (Your Brand of Choice)” Window Decals
- “Eatin’ Dodges, Shitn’ Fords” Decals (or any variation on the theme)
- “It’s a Jeep Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand” (Oh, just shut the hell up)
- “If You Can Read This, Turn Me Over” (very funny…moron)
- Fake Boat Propeller receiver covers (only acceptable if your kid gave it to you)
- Peeling DIY Window Tint
- Giant Number 3′s and 8′s on the side of vehicles that are not Nascar racers (or even Chevrolet automobiles).
That pretty much sums up today’s rant. Don’t get me wrong…I am all in favor of promoting Redneck virtues, proclaiming brand loyalty, and drinking beer in the name of Nascar…but you have to draw the line somewhere.
Have I missed anything?
Maybe next I will come up with a list of crap you can hang off your truck that might actually show some legitimate authenticity, character, or creativity.
[jalponik]
someone forget his happy pill this morning? While I totally agree with your list of greivances (Happy Festivus!), legislating against moronism is simply unamerican – you have a constitutional right to be annoying as all get out. Truck Nuts included (unless some bible beater state manages to classify vehicular testes as “obscene”…)
I don’t necessarily agree with the legislation…just that some sort of penalty/punishment should be administered. To quote more bumper sticker philosophy: “Stupidity Should Be Painful”
Only a top 7?!!?! Seven!?!?!?!
Man, I thought you had more underlying hate than that.
I think people with truck nuts should have to swallow then whole and shit them out before they get their rig back. That or I get to beat them over the head with the nuts strapped to a 5 foot length of heavy duty chain.
That or force them to watch Ron Paul ads.. That’ll teach those a-holes!!
Now that’s my kind of pent up anger! Well done.
Easy fellas! I believe it is one’s right as a “U.S. American” to put that obnoxious crap on thier vehicle…I need someone to laugh at when I’m sitting in endless rushour traffic! I will compromise with this: if you want to put that crap on your truck, you must also install a “Stupid” sticker or one that says “Guess my I.Q.”
I don’t think I need to explain to my daughter why fuck nutts with the truck nutts has them on his truck/suv/hillbillymobile.
From CRS 18-7-701
(2) “Obscene” means material or a performance that:
(a) The average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that taken as a whole appeals to the prurient interest in sex;
(b) Depicts or describes:
(I) Patently offensive representations or descriptions of ultimate sex acts, normal or perverted, actual or simulated, including sexual intercourse, sodomy, and sexual bestiality;
(II) Patently offensive representations or descriptions of masturbation, excretory functions, sadism, masochism, lewd exhibition of the genitals, the male or female genitals in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal, or covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state; and
(c) Taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.
I think they already are illegal- gonz
Oh, come now, Mr. I’m with the Gov’t and here to help. “contemporary community standards” — in the redneck community, the average person will not be offended… more importantly, and I don’t know if there is an “and” or an “or” between parts (2)(a) and (b), but trucknuts, while retarded and wholly stupid, do not make any of the representations required by (b)(I or (II), as I cannot discern whether said trucknuts are in a “discernably turgid state” or a state of arousal…
I would argue that “Patently offensive representations of. . . lewd exhibition of the genitals,” not a state of arousal. I don’t think testicles can exibit a discernably turgid state or a state of arousal, exept in some weird kama sutra drawings.
And Tool, for each IQ point that they have on the truck I get to hit them in the head with a ball peen hammer. Like a 3 pounder. A 5 pounder would be too much of a workout and I would want to enjoy the hammering.
Of course this is coming from a person that had a “My brain is my second favorite organ” bumper sticker- but that atleast made you think. Even the chrome girly silhouettes are just outlines.
I like to see a group of WWII vets on a duece and a half ride around town kicking the crap out of the idiots with truck nuts.
I would argue that the statute was written to regulate the display of HUMAN genitalia, and I’m pretty sure the trucknuts at issue were modeled off of a bulldog, boxer or other well hung non-human mammal!
I get seconds with the ballpeen…
can I add those annoying “family” stick figure stickers??
geez…wow you can reproduce.. big friggin whoop!! So can the rest of the world.
I don’t give fuck how many kids you have or what cutesy type of animal you have.
I also hate “baby on board” and “child on board” window stickies. Are you trying to tell me how to drive just because you have kids….I mean really….I’ll observe the law regardless of your family situation.
Finally I want to add those dumbass bullet-hole stickers, the fake softball/golfball through the glass thingies, and the name of your kid and the team your son/daughter plays softball/volleyball/etc on. I’m sure your proud of them, but did you know all their friends laugh when you roll up in the minivan/suv with that sticker on it.
I do however like to see the wonderfully repugnant stickers:
“I rather be Cummin than Strokin’”
“I’d rather be Stroked than Rammed”