I hope that the holidays treated everyone well and that Santa filled your stockings with some cool automotive implements. There are so many sweet tools to own out there. On that same note, there are also some pretty crappy ones as well.
I know that some of you have these in your toolbox. They are worn out, they were cheap, or they seemed like a cool tool at three a.m. after fourteen Pig's Eyes. These tools are evil, sent from Lou Cifer himself. The ratchets don't ratchet anymore. It rounds every other bolt head. They may have even threatened you in your sleep. So, without further adieu, let me present you with.....(drum roll)....The Ten Crappiest Tools I've Ever Seen!!
10. Cheap Socket Sets
I've seen a lot of these. I know that everyone can't afford Snap-on or Mac tools, but you've got to be kidding me. These sets only ratchet for about six months, you have to toy with it to change directions, and the regular depth sockets aren't even as deep as a nut. This socket set will leave you cursing because you don't have any skin on your knuckles.
9. Digital Torque Wrench
Fellas, this may seem like a good idea, but it's not. I know, I think they look pretty sweet, too. Not to mention an accurate torque readout. I'm just wondering how long that display is going last with constant pounding. I'm very skeptical about this one.
8. Titanium Drill Bits
These are one of those "as seen on T.V." deals. I just saw that commercial the other day. They drill through a brick and then drill through an aluminum can. They pound it with a hammer. If you order now, they'll throw in a bit they call a "speed saw". These bits are no better than those you buy down at Sears. In fact, the Sears ones are better. As far as the "speed saw" goes, go buy a Dremmel or something.
7. Spark Plug Boot Puller
Yes, there is such a thing, and no, don't buy one. I've seen these tear a spark plug boot just as easily as you can yourself. So now you have a torn boot and a worthless tool. If you had just changed your spark plugs 40,000 miles ago, you wouldn't be making and extra trip to that damn parts store for the sixth time today.
6. That Ratchet With The Hole In The Middle.
You know what I am talking about. It's another T.V. deal. They show some idiot trying to get a socket onto an eight inch bolt. It's not the tool that's the problem, it's the operator. Go down to the hardware store and BUY SOME SHORTER BOLTS! Dumbasses.
5. Leatherman
There are a lot of multi-pliers by a lot of different companies. I'm not saying don't buy a multi-plier. I have one and use it everyday. I'm saying that the standard Leatherman pretty much sucks. Once they get used a little bit, the pliers or the implements never stay open or closed. Also, the impements don't lock. It's a good feature to have if you want to lose a digit.
4. 90w Pumps
These are the pumps you can buy in the parts stores for about $3. These things egregiously suck. They leak, the little hose never stays on, and the pump never seems to screw tightly onto the one gallon bottle. It's not enough that 90w is the worst fluid to work with, these pumps have to be certain that you are covered in it.
3. Torx Bits
As if there aren't enough tools and bolt head configurations to be had, some boner has to come up with another. Torx heads, hex heads, allen heads; don't even get me started on putting standard and metric sizes on the same vehicle.
2. Quickwrenches
Craftsman came out with this one. It's a neat concept, but they don't work at all in close quarters. It's just more cost efficient to buy normal open end wrenches.
1. Ratcheting Box End Wrenches
These are a pet peeve of mine. The way I see it, is if you can spend the money on these and are too lazy to turn a normal box end, then you shouldn't be working on vehicles anyway!
Now, it's understandable if you have these tools because your old man handed them down to you, or your friend gave them to you because he, too realized how crappy they were. I don't want to hear from a little birdie that you actually purchased one of these demons. Just remember, the tool gods are watching you.
