Trucks. Trails. Mountains. Beer. Rock and Roll.

Hello again,

I hope that everyone had a good laugh at the expense of some poorly engineered tools last month. I know that I do whenever I see those lonely implements of knuckle destruction hanging on the wall at the store.

This month we will compare and contrast the wonderful world of multi-pliers. I sometimes wonder what I would do without mine. It has come to be a constant companion. I use it at work practically everyday. Above and beyond work, it has been used at the campsite to open cans of Dinty Moore. I have used it at home to completely assemble a dresser that I had purchased at Target Boutique. I even repaired some sorry sap's eyeglasses at my local watering hole one night. These tools are very handy in a pinch, and they're a lot more convenient that dragging around a tool belt or box.

There are a wide range of multi-pliers manufactured by a plethora of companies. You can now begin to pay homage the the TOOLman for giving you the inside scoop on these handy little sets of pincers. I will save you all some self pity and remorse for purchasing a tool that won't quite live up to your expectations.

1. Basic Leatherman.
   The basic leatherman is just that, basic. It is not very impressive in size or function. It is great for you po' folks out there. It retails for about $40 in most stores. The fact that it is cheap is definitely one of its higher points. The lower points include the non-locking implements and tools that are only accessible if the pliers are open. It also doesn't like to stay open or closed when introduced to a high level of mirth.
2. Leatherman Supertool.
   The Supertool retails for about $50. Regretfully, this tool suffers from the same inadequacies as its predecessor in that it does not like filth very much. The implements do lock and are easily accessible from the outside, but you have to open one implement to retract another. You would think that they'd come out with some sort of switch or something.
3. Leatherman Wave.
   It's a little more pricey at $72. But, I like this one. It is very compact, works well in dirty applications, and has a cool little button to retract the knife blades. Hold on...Only the blades? Yes, the rest of the implements retract the in the same manner as the Supertool. Geez, when will these Leatherman guys get it right? I'm guessing...hmm, NEVER!
4. Leatherman Crunch.
   I saw this one in the store last week while doing some research. It probably sucks ass the way that the rest of their products suck. Don't they ever do a little market research? If they ever asked the TOOLman about their multi-pliers, I'd have to tell them that their products are ok, but they work better if they were steadying my wobbly bar stool. Anyway, I thought that you guys might want to hear about this one because instead of needlenose as pliers, it has a set of vise-grips. I have no idea how they incorporated the vise-grips. Once I have checked it out more thouroughly, I will let you fellas know. I have a feeling that this tool may end up on the "Crappiest" list for next year. Oh, yeah, this one goes for $80.
5. Gerber Multi-Plier.
   These guys can make some knives! It's too bad that they made this piece of crap. The original concept is pretty sweet. Instead of the pliers folding out, you can push these two buttons on the side of the tool, and voila, the pliers emerge! This tool sucks in that the implements become really loose over time and the steel it is manufactured with is too wimpy. Stay away from this little demon if you don't want blood stains on your shirt.
6. Gerber Legend.
   Oh my God, boner. Look at that tool. It's, like, so big. Yes, I like big tools and I cannot lie. Holy Mother of Christ, it's huge! It's also about $100. I have not tried it out in the field, but for a c-note, it ought to snuggle up with you in your tent and do things that I can't mention here on this website.
7. Victorinox SwissTool.
   I have always looked at some of their knives and wondered, "Wow, the things that I could do if I only had a magnifying glass right in the knife!" The SwissTool doesn't have all of those silly little devices like, hmm, a toothpick. What in the hell am I going to do with a toothpick that has seen more dirt than an earthworm? I'm sure as hell not going to stick it in my mouth! Anyway, this little dandy retails for about $80, and I think it is well worth every penny. The implements are accessible from the outside, they lock, and just like myself, they love to play in the dirt. It also has a sliding unlocking device that will let you retract the implements even with gloves on! The steel it is manufactured with seems to be stronger than the others.

   Fellas, these things are handy, handy, handy. If you don't believe me, try one out for yourself. Usually, the best ones have a grip that is machined so that the tool doesn't dig into your hand when you squeeze with all of you bearded, flannel wearing, P.B.R. drinking might. If you decide to shop, just pick it up. You will soon realize which one fits most comfortably in your hand, and generally, the heavier a multi-plier is, the better it is built. Remember, camping season is right around the corner! Happy trails!

   J. TOOL
   Sevenmile.net Tool Advisor and Destroyer of Wood Products